Sunday, December 06, 2015

Building your way up to Enjoying your own Company

Alright, so I've been stretching myself to venture out to events and travel solo. I'm not sure what it is, but as women, and maybe this is limited to Black women, or maybe it's just limited to my circle, I find that many of us are reluctant to go to events or travel solo. In fact we'd prefer to have bad company, then no company when heading out. I'm also included in this. But as time has progressed, I've found that I have become a slave to having company when heading out. Bottom line I miss out on events and traveling because I want a friend to go with me, I'm consciously limiting my life experiences.

With that being said I've been pushing myself to venture out solo. I don't even ask anyone to come with anymore (not completely true), I just go. So yesterday, I headed to the movies. I got there at 4 saw Chi-RAQ, and then Creed. Yo, Creed was insane... Chi-RAQ was good, but two totally different mindsets. Chi-RAQ was a poetic statement, speaking to gun violence within the Black community in the south side of Chicago. It was very hypersexualized but considering the topic at hand being sex as a means to facilitate peace, it fit in with the story.This was a great film to highlight what's happening in economically depressed Black communities across the US. As mainstream hip hop and rap has moved from the hood, so has the focus of it's followers from issues within the hood. Bottom line, music and the news (although the news not so impactful due to who the story teller is) use to bring the perspective from the victims and or products of these environments center stage. Now most of us today are removed and not connected to that world. As in we have no clue that it's happening or we separate ourselves from it and continue on with our lives.

The Black Lives Matter Campaign has been rebutted by this very issue. Those opposing this campaign asking why the uproar when we kill each other daily. The truth is, there are two separate issues that have to be dealt with, which the film addresses. Anyway this is an ongoing issue, and bravo to the film for hopefully igniting an open discussion and reflection on what many of us can do to bring back economic life into our communities.

Ok, not sure how I go back to the solo ride from that. But hey, lets do this. When I went to the movies yesterday, I went pretty early and also to a smaller low key theater. Thus there were a handful of people there. I've noticed, that I feel most comfortable when I go out, and there are less people around. It could be an intimate space or a larger open space. The point is if there's a handful of people, doing their own thing, I feel very comfortable in my own skin immersed in whatever I'm doing solo. However I've noticed when I'm amongst a crowd, lets say a busy happy hour spot, and I'm by myself, I feel more self conscious. Anyway I don't know what all that means, but it's a takeaway for me nonetheless. A point of observation that I'll keep in mind as I continue to push myself out, lol.

Cheers - Happy Sunday

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