Sunday, December 13, 2015

Learning how to let Go!

Happy Sunday Guys- Here's a little testimony for you ! Two years ago, maybe going on three now, I was working at a prestigious firm. The work was fine, however my department was a nightmare. The culture was very belittling and berating from the top down. I often witnessed my manager being belittled at staff meetings, and then in turn treat me in the same fashion. I tolerated it for a year, and after that point started pushing back, which made my life hell. I eventually went to HR, which only led to my director meeting with me daily, to intimidate and scrutinize my work. I even started to see a counselor. The stress was physically manifesting. Shortly after, I made the decision to leave. I was bitter for 6 months or so, because I was pushed out. I also didn't find a new job until a year after.

However, I had been accepted to Grad school prior to starting that role, and kept postponing enrollment due to the conflict in my schedule. Since I couldn't find a job immediately, I decided to go to Grad School full time. Keep in mind, the bills were still coming in, and I did have documentation to support being forced to leave due to a hostile environment, for unemployment benefits. But my spirit told me to let go. To let go of that life, of that chapter, of my pride, and then to look ahead towards my future.

Before continuing on with the story, do you see how God works. I left that job, with the intentions of finding another full time job. I typically don't have issues finding a job, but during that season, I couldn't get an offer if my life depended on it. I had several interviews, with several companies, and most of them went well. I even had recruiters suggesting an offer was coming soon. For one reason or another, the roles would be withdrawn/cancelled/restructured, or I'd just hear nothing. So that summer I stopped looking aggressively, and fully committed to going back to school full time. My mind and perspective completely shifted.

Back to the story, here's a little background. My managers wife had been sick through the span of my employment there, 6 months after I left she died. It wasn't a surprise, my manager expected it. Now thinking about the unemployment appeal, which I had written by the way, most of it was about my interaction with my manager and how he treated me. Considering my financial circumstance, it took a lot for me to walk away. But God asked me to. So fast forward a year into my Graduate program, and I'm offered a full time opportunity and an internship. The full time opportunity offered a similar lifestyle to that which my previous employer afforded me. It was also located in midtown, which was a bonus to me (You know for the look of it, lol). This would have been a position of restoration, in my eyes.

However, I declined the full time offer and took the internship to gain experience in my new field of study. As I think back on it now, this is one sign of me letting go of the bitter feelings. I was no longer in competition with who I was, or what I had. Six months after that, I took on an additional internship, and was now juggling two internships, and my classes. I also got a full time offer one semester before I graduated.

So check this out, in the previous season, I couldn't get a job at McDonald's, and now I'm turning down offers to take on internships, and I'm being offered employment for the future. See Jesus, won't he do it. However, I want to focus on timing. Gods timing to be precise. The doors God closes, no one can open. The doors he opens, no one can close. Our challenge is to be in-sync with God, so that we recognize the season we are in.

The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God...

Through this whole experience there were many things I gained. Below are the highlights.
  1. With the two years away from the corporate life, I grew in Christ. I developed a relationship with God beyond anything I've ever known. 
  2. I grew professionally. I learned how to establish and follow through with boundaries in a work environment. 
  3. I got a Masters, hey hey hey, more qualified!
  4. I recognized the role I played in that environment, and focused on the areas that needed improvement.
  5. Last but not least, I understand that the fight is never in the physical realm, but is always in the spiritual realm. So if you need something to MOVE. You need to spiritually confront it and deal with it through Jesus Christ.

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