Friday, November 18, 2016

Lies you do tell

Hey Guys - Happy Friday!

Let me get right into it. I belong to a few private whatsapp groups. One being a women's support group. In that group we share experiences, put out petitions for prayers, vent out frustrations, and overall celebrate and enjoy each other. Well recently, my Uncle sent a video of a young girls response to Trump being president, to our family whatsapp chat. The video had me cracking up, so I decided to share it with the women's group. When I initially saw the video, I assumed it was a video of his inlaws. Knowing fully damn well I shouldn't be sharing family related items, I meant to tell the women's group  hey this is a video of my family please don't distribute. I didn't though. So when a member of the group commented on the video, I used it as an opportunity to say hey that's my niece. In my head implying please don't distribute. A few minutes later another member asks hey is that your niece, because I also have seen this video. I respond immediately on the defensive, yes. So now I'm like ok, it's my Uncles inlaws, but I don't want to have to explain who the family is and how they are related to my Uncles wife. I say instead it's close family friends. In my head I'm annoyed, that I have to go back to my Uncle to confirm. I go back to him and ask, hey is that Aunty so and so... He says no. Chai. Now I'm a straight up liar. I think to go back to the group and recant my statement. But to be honest I was completely embarrassed. Although some time has passed by, it's still bothering me. Essentially, my integrity has been diminished. What also irks me is the feeling that I can't just be transparent within the group and express exactly what I have expressed here on the blog. So in doing some soul searching, I have to redefine what I consider to be a safe space. Because when questioned, I automatically defaulted to a defensive posture, why? When I found out the truth I was reluctant to go back to the group and acknowdlege it.  I just didn't address it.

So I have to ask myself a few questions.
1. On a broader scale, can I be honest with those in my circle?
2. Can I make mistakes, be wrong and own up to them in front of those in my circle?
3. Can I be transparent with those in my circle ( the good, the bad, the ugly)?

Anyway, lesson learned. I'm still growing...


Saturday, October 01, 2016

Be who you Desire. Be what you want to Receive!

I remember as a little girl, how I idolized beautiful dark skin Black Women. It's not that women of a different race, or of a lighter complexion lacked in beauty. It was simply, that I could easily identify with the features of dark skin Black Women. As a little girl, their shinning was my shinning. So, when I would encounter a beautiful dark skin Black Woman, be it within my family or other arenas, I'd have in my mind a vision of what type of relationship I wanted with them. I envisioned myself as their little sister, they supporting me, showing me the ropes etc. You get the point. A secondary Mommy, but more like the cool big sister.

As life would have it, for one reason or another, besides my Mom and my Sister, I never truly developed that type of relationship with the women I encountered. Rather, as I've gotten older, and broadened my perspective, I've developed that type of relationship in the most unexpected places, from a diverse group of women.

This taught me a few lessons:
1. Don't limit yourself to what you see, or what you know
2. Don't place expectations on others
3. Be open to people. Not just a particular set of people.

Back to the point at hand. Now in my 30's. I can accept the responsibility of having young girls look up to me. I say that because I've developed a stronger relationship with God, I've settled into a Church community, and I have a strong sense of self. Meaning, I'm good with being me, authentic me. Thus whomever I'm interacting with gets a fresh dose of Chanda, lol.

When I joined my church, I initially struggled to find my place or fit within that community. Namely because my church is predominately Yoruba. In fact, I still struggle. I'm Ibibio and have been raised in America. So, the interaction culturally is off. I try, but it's a relationship that will continue to develop with time and humility on my part.

With my struggles to fit in, I often perceived the church members to be judgmental towards me. I even thought that their kids were judging me. Now let's be honest, some of them probably were and still are, lol. But as I've spent more time within this community, I began to realize that some of the kids were watching me beyond judgment. Some of them we're just curious. Thus I had to change my reaction towards them, from a defensive standpoint, to one in which I would have wanted as a child. So long story short, if there's something that is deficient in your life, or someone missing from your life, be that something or someone for another person. You know best, how and what you wanted. So serve the people. Maybe God was intentional, so that you would know exactly what to give someone else, and would have the understanding of how it would feel to receive that gesture.


Monday, September 26, 2016

Accept that you will stand out!

God, I am not there yet. But I'm trying. I see you have a vision beyond me, for me. I see you. I'm trying. Continue to strengthen and guide me. In Jesus Name


The struggle is real. But God is faithful. I will continue to push myself until the walls break down (whatever those walls are for you, insert here). So, I'm entering a new season which requires that I start trusting people. For the past few years, I've been in some form of isolation. I've been around people, however there's been but so far in which I've allowed them in. In fact I've been living in a world, where I'm constantly retreating to God. Nothing wrong with that, but I can't hide behind God. Let me rephrase that. You can't turn off a part of the world. It's either you turn it off, and miss both the Good and bad parts, or keep it on (staying connected to it) and experience both the Good and bad parts.

Now here's the thing, when God blesses people. He typically does it through other people. So, you need to be around people. I've heard and seen this concept manifest. Most of my blessings, if not all have come through people, from God. What about ones vision and purpose?

I understand ones purpose and vision to be connected to service. The best way to serve God, is through people. You serve people, you serve God. Through service, you connect to others and become connected to God. Through service, your vision and purpose manifest or are sharpened. As in you gain confirmation: this is where I'm meant to be, or what I'm suppose to be doing. Or run - run Swiss Robinson, danger danger. (Please don't mind me, my friend says that all the time, and that's how I interpret what I hear.)

Ok, so what is the bottom line. I need to drop the walls, and allow a team to form, so that I can execute God's purpose and vision. I can't do it alone. I also can't delegate effectively, if I don't trust and let go. In order to move to the next dimension, I need to open my heart and trust God.  Please note, that you need to stay connected to God, in order to discern who you should allow into your inner circle. In fact even your outer circle.

Please note, that your vision won't manifest until you work towards manifesting someone else's vision. There are several lessons to be learned and growing pains with this. Which are all necessary. However, this is a topic for another day.

Happy New Week!


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Read The Word!

Entering into a new season, why not challenge yourself to reading the word from beginning to end. Equip yourself. You might not master it, but now you have a point of reference.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Forward Ever Backward Never

Often we flirt with things of the past. We think the you today is smarter, brighter, prettier and more equipped to manage those things we couldn't manage "x" number of years ago. We think the me today can take that past thing and turn it into a happy ending (hehe). So here you go, inviting foolishness into your future.

But let me challenge you. Could it be, that you already took the best things of the past into your future. Meaning the things that stung, that hurt, and challenged you, have now developed you. They have created and strengthened this present you.

But now, after stepping into this new level of you, you decide to look back at the scraps in the past, and connect with the dead things (that you didn't carry the first time round into your future), with the hopes of giving it life. Why.

Monday, September 05, 2016

Level Up - You are A Product of Your Environment

You are the company that you keep. It's hard for even the strongest character to not be influenced by those that they are continuously around or by the things they consistently see and or hear. It's inevitable that one develops a level of intimacy with their daily routine. So mind the company you keep, and the messaging you receive.

With that said I think it's important to be part of a church that is growing. Seriously. In the physical. Spiritual growth is great. But we live here in the physical realm. Thus any group or association your tied to, should be developing and evolving. Meaning if your part of a church, there should be a vision, and a manifestation of that vision. This concept applies in every arena of our life. Don't hang around dead things. They can't give you life. So take a step back and assess all areas of your life.


Sunday, September 04, 2016

The Battle is Always for your Mind

Hey Guys- Happy Sunday!

A quick note to you. Stay calm, stay focused, and protect your mind. I'll add your heart to that. I remember listening to a Touré Roberts sermon a few months ago. Where he stated, the enemy doesn't want your things, he wants your mind. If he can get you to think that there's no hope, that you're worthless, that there's no room for you in Gods Grace and Mercy. Then he's got you. He's won. He doesn't need your things, he wants your soul.

So how do we apply this concept to our daily lives. Simple.
1. Stay connected to God.
2. Walk away from sin. It's the easiest way to stay connected to God.
3. Keep your circle positive. Surround yourself with people that deposit into your life. Positive deposits only.

4. Stay away from people that don't allow you to be yourself. If you find that your trying to prove your value to someone, to anyone, then let them go.
5. Protect your eyes and your ears. Be mindful of what your consuming. Music, TV, Gossip, BS. Self depreciating messages.
6. Stay away from those that want you stay at your current level. Nobody has time for that.
7. Arrest your mind. Often we get caught up in wayward thoughts. Nostalgia takes a hold of us. If you find yourself dwelling on something that takes you to a low place, you need to actively work through that, and move on to healthier thoughts.
8. Learn to FORGIVE yourself. (And others) We've all done things we aren't proud of. Facts. Acknowledge it, repent, forgive, and move on.


Saturday, August 13, 2016

When Praises Go Up

I believe in the power of the word. I believe in the power of the lord. I believe in speaking positivity, growth, and blessings into my life. I'm not afraid, the devil has no power over me. I'm working harder then I was meant to work, because I understand if I praise God beyond my level, God will unleash blessings to me today, that were meant for me 5, 10 years from now. I understand that I have the power to change my story, through praise. I understand that I have the power to bless myself through my own words. I understand that I can wrestle with God for my blessings, in the same way Jacob did. When you know your power, and understand that God is the way maker. There's no need to acknowledge the devil. Because he can't make things happen that God won't allow. He has to ask for permission. So why continue to fuss with the middle man, the wanna be. When you can go to the creator and discuss your future.  Your going through it right now, I hear you. Push,fight, and Praise. Don't settle for just making it. Push yourself like a crazy person, because you know your condition is not your circumstance, and that your circumstance is not your condition. God has a future for you, that is waiting to be claimed. No need to wait 30 years for that blessing, praise your way through it!


No Pressure - Just a DevotionAL

Hey Guys,

It's been such a while. So much has happened since we last chatted. I got a makeup regiment. Got a promotion. Have drawn closer to God. Taking more accountability. Learning how to take authority in my life (Kingdom Authority). Got a quick trip to Aruba in. Spent the summer with my youngest nephew. I've been meeting good, new interesting people.


As time has progressed I've started to conform to doing God's work. Not sure what that means for me yet. But let's do it. With that in mind, I'm shifting the direction of this blog. We're transitioning to a devotional. I've been trying to figure out how I can spend more time with God. I read the bible, but I don't cling to it. (I know I should, but I don't). I know a few of my friends have daily devotionals that they follow. So I figured why don't I use my blog as a means to talk to God. Mind you I'm still reading the bible Ohhhh! Not a substitution for that.

Alright stay blessed!

Monday, May 30, 2016


So this week I achieved something in a few hours that I could not achieve these past two years. For the past two years I've been praying to God for a specific thing. After I'd pray, I would do things that I thought positioned me towards attaining what I prayed for but saw no progress. Finally Tuesday, I got frustrated and questioned God. After venting, I took a step back, and said I know whose I am. God wouldn't place me in a position to settle. So I decided to change my approach. I decided to start giving out, what I was praying to receive. I intentionally set a goal that morning, to give my time so that someone else would benefit from it. While in the process of execution, I received a call that day about what I had prayed for. By 3pm the following day I had received it. Lesson learned. God calls us to be obedient, to be self sacrificing. If you find that you are praying and that your prayers haven't been answered. Take a step forward, and ask yourself, what are you doing for the world.Take ownership of your prayers and put them to action by blessing someone, because your faith tells you that your blessing is coming. God is accountable.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016


Dolce Vita


Meditate on this. Please don't mind me, lol. Hey Guys. I'm super beat. As in exhausted. This week I joined my churches praise dance group. So the group consists of the teacher, and me, lol. Outside of work, and other things, it's surprising that I'd make room for that.

So, after work each day, I've headed to church to practice for 2 hours plus, for an upcoming event. But I can't front. Being on a praise dance team, has been one of my aspirations for a while. So here we go... I actually wanted to write about my experience with the team, and my church. However, I'm too tired to go through the process of recapping some events, crafting it into a story, and then pushing the underline message forth, lol. That will be for another day. No shade to me.

However today, I just want to encourage you. Whoever you are. Your more than a conqueror. Your beyond just being satisfied, just making it, and being an over comer. You are the head, a trail blazer, creator, dynamic, effervescent... The unstoppable spark, Gods Gold, his chosen. His beloved. So stop wasting time on what God didn't intend for you. Let's focus on you. :-)


Fashion on holiday to Martinique

Cover-ups and swimsuits. That sums up my vaca attire in Martinique.
On average the temperature was 88 degrees Fahrenheit. You could literally wake up at 1/2 am in the morning and enjoy a comfortable 75 degrees by the water. So naturally I dressed very light. I can't review much on the fashion there. Since I was part of a group, most of the activities we had, were tailored to and attracted tourists. So on the next visit, as I become more acclimated, we'll see whose who, in fashion.